Feeling unfulfilled in your law career? Become a Relational Lawyer

It's time to change how you practice law

When you think about your legal work, how does it make you feel? Does it fill you with joy or with dread?

If you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach every time you even think about going into the office for another day of unfulfilling work, you're not alone. 

Unfortunately, far too many lawyers are over-stressed and unfulfilled with their work. Our member lawyer Amy June said practicing law made her miserable and gave her constant anxiety before she found NLBM. She was starting to think that something was wrong with her. But then she discovered NLBM and realized she didn't have to quit being a lawyer to find fulfillment— she just needed to change how she practiced law.

How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. And the reality is as lawyers, we spend a significant portion of our days at work. So if we aren't enjoying our work, that means we aren't enjoying our lives.

You deserve to create a life you love. So, today I'm going to share with you the secret to finding fulfillment as a lawyer by changing the way you practice.

The secret to a fulfilling law career

Positive psychology experts and social scientists have discovered that our social connections and relationships with others are what drives our happiness. Human beings are social creatures. Connecting with others and forming mutually beneficial bonds is what kept our ancestors alive. Feeling connected and contributing to others is still one of the key factors that contribute to our sense of well-being today.

That's why if you want law to be fulfilling, you should practice what we call Relational Law.

Relational Law is a heart-centered way of practicing that puts relationships first. It's different from adversarial law or litigation, which focuses on conflict. And it's also different from transactional law, which focuses on drafting documents. Relational Law is about connecting with and helping others, and it's beneficial to both you and your clients. Our model of being a Relational Lawyer is held together by the PFL Promise, which is a relational standard for all of our Personal Family Lawyer® firms.

You don't have to dread going to work every day. Being a lawyer can be fulfilling—when filled with great relationships and knowing that you're making an impact in your clients' lives and the world.

How Relational Law is mutually beneficial for you and your clients

Here's how your client benefits when you practice Relational Law by becoming a Personal Family Lawyer:

  • They feel heard and understood—communicating with you gives them a sense of connection and clarity
  • They don't feel "sold to" or pressured—they feel empowered and informed by your education-based approach
  • They get to choose their fee and not be afraid to reach out to you for fear of getting charged more
  • They receive an estate plan that truly protects their family and keeps them out of court and conflict
  • They feel great about leaving behind more than just financial assets and knowing their intangible human assets will be passed to the next generation
  • They take comfort in knowing they have a trusted resource in their community

And here are the many ways you benefit as a Personal Family Lawyer:

  • You learn relationship-building skills (that law school doesn't teach us lawyers) from our coaches that help you create a more genuine connection with your clients
  • You feel more energy and purpose when meeting with clients
  • You feel fulfilled knowing you're providing a truly meaningful service to your community— more than just a set of documents
  • You are able to make a great living by charging affordable premium fees that your clients are happy to pay
  • You get to choose the lifestyle you desire by following a done-for-you law practice model you love, that serves the way live
  • You are respected as a trusted resource in your community

These are just some of the benefits of upholding the PFL Promise by practicing Relational Law.

What Relational Law looks like in practice

A relational lawyer is less stressed and more fulfilled because they do things differently. Let's look at 3 specific examples of how a Personal Family Lawyer shows up differently in their day-to-day practice.

1. Family Wealth Planning Sessions vs. Traditional 'Initial Meetings'

A traditional lawyer uses their initial meetings to gather facts and information by interviewing clients, all while driving the conversation toward closing the sale. We teach you as a Personal Family Lawyer to run Family Wealth Planning Sessions instead of traditional initial meetings. 

In a Family Wealth Planning Session, you work with families to help them get clear about their assets, goals, and family dynamics. And you help guide them to choosing a plan that fits their goals and budget in a way that's service oriented and not salsey.

Our PFL Adam Hicks shared with us that he finally found fulfillment as a lawyer when he adopted our heart-centered service oriented way of practicing law.

2. Being a Long Term Trusted Advisor vs. Just Drafting Documents

A traditional lawyer drafts documents then often never sees their clients again. Unfortunately, these documents are often meaningless and do nothing to serve their client's goals because they fall out of date quickly and leave families stuck in conflict or unable to find all of their loved one's assets. That's why there are more than $58 billion of lost and unclaimed assets held by state and federal agencies in the US.  

A Personal Family Lawyer isn’t a “one and done” document drafter. They advise clients on some of the most important financial and legal decisions of their lives and provide ongoing counsel as their client's life circumstances and goals change. A Personal Family Lawyer is their community's most trusted resources and often serves families for many generations.

3. Using Conscious Communication vs. Interrogating and Analyzing

A traditional lawyer is great at fact finding and is trained to do this by interrogating and analyzing people. But interrogation and analysis doesn't create connection—nor does it make clients want to hire you. That's why as a Personal Family Lawyer we teach you how to create connection through conscious communication. 

A PFL leads with curiosity and empathy, which puts clients at ease and makes them feel supported. That's why our lawyers consistently have an 80% engagement rate or better. Check out what PFL Myrna had to say about how our communication training helped her connect with clients.  

You deserve to be fulfilled in your career. And being a lawyer can be fulfilling when you practice Relational Law by upholding the PFL promise. Putting relationships at the center of your practice is the key to loving law and your life. And it's mutually beneficial to you and the client.

If you want to learn how you can create a life and law practice you love by becoming a Personal Family Lawyer, go watch our masterclass: Discover Personal Family Lawyer. In this masterclass, I will share how you can build a practice that allows you to take control of your time and income—and find fulfillment in law.

If you're ready to map out your personal path to becoming a Relational Lawyer, schedule a call with a Law Business Advisor. On the call, we'll help you figure out if our program is the right fit for you and if you're the right fit for our community of trusted lawyers.